Family photos for the holiday; Or not, hey whatever

The other day all six of us trotted out to the woods for some pictures. It was the same day, in fact, that I shot the video of the trees. The idea was Holiday Cards. You know, those crappy little things with the pic of the family on the front in those gay-ass sweaters, all smiling and looking just left of the camera, except for little Timmy who’s got Pink Eye and is looking into the lens and pouting, and picking his nose. Yeah, those. Well, The Girl wanted some of that goodness for our little family. You know, Me, Her, Miles, Zoey, and Chase & Hunter. That “little” family.

I don’t know quite where to begin. I mean, where did it all go wrong? I’ll tell you: waking up in the morning. Maybe before that; I think the very idea of this might well have been flawed. And as much as I want to wring her cute little throat sometimes, I can’t really lay the blame on the lil’ woman. After all, I gleefully went along with it, thinking all would work out JUST PEACHY OMG!

Getting ready went smooth. The drive out went smooth. Finding a perfect spot was a little rough – in fact I don’t think we did find the perfect spot. But the troubles really began when we tried to get everyone sat down and still. Honestly, I had envisioned the whole thing in my head. And let me tell you, it did not go according to that grand master plan. The dogs, they did not sit. Or when they did sit, it was facing the wrong direction. Or it was too far apart. Or it was any other bloody thing it could be that was not ‘the right thing,’ and you can imagine that this got old really fast. Really fast.

Cue screaming & yelling, right? Right. Boy did I. The dogs were not happy with daddy, and likewise I was not happy with them. It’s sitting! It’s not hard! You do it all the damned time!

Well the frustration did not end, and subsequently we did not get “The Picture.” We got SOME, but they were not of all of us, and we BARELY got any of all the dogs as it was. The Girl managed a few, and we’re thinking of putting the cards together with one or two of them. People, if you get a Holiday Card with a picture of four dogs, just imagine we’re in there too, OK? And you know what? I eventually calmed down. I reconciled myself to the fact that normal families composed of actual people can’t get this simple act right most of the time; what, were we bat-sh!t crazy for thinking we could pull it off? Two people and four dogs?! Yeah I vote for bat-sh!t crazy