About the new house: the loan

We were notified in the middle of May that the seller’s bank – the ones with final say on the short sale approval – were going to accept the terms of the sale as they were. Great! The next day, we start getting our ducks in a row, signing stuff, getting loan approvals, all that good “buying a house” bullsh*t.

Side note: ducks in a row? Why do we put ducks in a row? Why not a column? Or a group? Eh.

You’re going to crap your pants when I tell you how much the loan rates were when we went to get the loan: 4.875 with no points. Today only. Well it just so happened that today was the day anyway, so we brought all of our paperwork in to get it started.

This, of course, was where we ran into our first brick wall: the credit union would no longer approve the loan due to a couple fraudulent collections on my credit. OK fine. We’ll check with the devil (B of A).

Turns out, B of A can do it, but they’re going to have to go through FHA to do it. Rates are the same, but we need need NEEED the signed approval to get started. The signed approval that we didn’t have yet. That we had been asking for and not receiving. The one that was, I guess, the holy f*cking grail and we were going to have to wait until Indy got back from some f*cking jungle to deliver the thing to us.

Two weeks. Two weeks of bugging our realtor to find out what’s going on. Two weeks. You know what happens in two weeks? Rates shoot up to 5.375, and I turn into a big green monster that you wouldn’t like when you make me angry, that’s what. Yes, I’m very happy about this development, you can tell. Why? Because I desperately wanted to pay an additional $18,000 over the life of the mortgage, that’s why, you silly readers, you. Then do you know what happens next? You loan officers decide that they don’t need those silly signed approval letters to continue and lock your rate anyway, so let’s just get started, shall we?

Now this is where I went from rage, to confused and divided rage; dark green to light green. At first I was pissed the hell off® at my realtor, because for these two weeks, we’d bug him every other day to get something done about this. His response every time was “well they haven’t emailed me. We just have to wait.” When I found out that this two week delay had just cost us $50 a month, I wanted to have him pay for it or something. Shake well before opening, then begin rage – serves four.

Then, the bank went ahead and decided to process it as it was, with just the paperwork we had, which – as you may recall – did not include the signed approval. And I became confused. Who do I hate now? Do I hate both? Do I do this equally? Because if we didn’t need the g0damnedmutherf*ckingpieceofsh!t@sswipesonovab!tch document to lock in the rate, why the hell didn’t we lock the rate at 4.875 two weeks ago?

Anyway. I’m going to Rage-aholics Anonymous and seeing a therapist to try and overcome my anger over the matter. One thing that I’m trying to do to ease the pain is to consider what we’re getting versus what we were going to get initially:

When we first were told to get our ducks in a row in January, we went to secure the loan. Rates at that time? 5.375%. So technically, we’re now paying exactly what we were going to be paying when we initially “bought” the house.

Still, though: $18,000. You feel me.