Oh baby pinch my nipples after you run that report

The Odd Thing About Sex Talk @ Work
We all want to talk about it, it seems. Funny, because we’re not supposed to talk about it. There’s rules & regulations that specifically state that you will be fired for talking about it. Which then, of course, makes everyone want to talk about it more.

I’ve never met one person – not one – that didn’t want to talk about sex with me at work. Er, that didn’t come out right. That didn’t want to talk with me about sex, while we were at work. Whew! You don’t want to know what would happen to me if I hadn’t fixed that before The Girl read it. Catastrophe.

Anyway. It just strikes me as odd that we have all these rules to prohibit this “thing” that we all do anyway. Doesn’t seem logical. I mean, I understand that there’s a line, we’re trying to avoid sexual harassment, but still. What if someone hates feet? They find them putrid? Should we write a law to prevent talk about foot stuff at work, too? Why can’t I legally talk about my collection of whips & chains? You know, I have this ring that... oh, never mind.



The Scary Thing About Sex Talk @ Work
Oh my god. A lot of the people that want to talk to me about sex at work? Ugly. Hey I may not be a 10, but at least I’m on the right side of that scale, bub. I mean, these are not the kind of people you find videos of having sex online. Know why? That’s right, because they’re ugly, like I freakin’ said already. So? Oh my god. These people are having sex? Oh god oh god, I hope not! And it’s not like I truly think that they should be denied the ability to have sex, it’s just a selfish thing on my part where I don’t want to imagine that an ugly person or (gasp!) two ugly people are having sex. It’s completely selfish on my part, I just don’t want to be all grossed out over it. And hell, you know what? Who am I kidding? I don’t want ugly people having sex! Because they’re just going to produce more ugly people, right? Right?

Of course, perhaps they’re just talking about it because they’re not getting it. Let’s hope. For the sake of my mind’s eye, and the future of television.

Ewwww.

Canon Camera Pissing me the Hell Off®

OK as much as I love the damn thing, I simultaneously hate the hell out of it. I just got it back from warranty service Friday. Yesterday when I went out to take pictures of my hella-cool new rearview mirror camera, I find that it’s making this horrible, juddering noise when I turn it on/off and the lens opens/retracts. Horrible noise, can’t be good.

Needless to say, this is getting old. TOO old.

I really hope that some sort of lemon law applies here. I’ll be calling Canon on Tuesday to let them know that their camera is GREAT! When it’s working. Not so much all the other times. Cuz I will keep sending it back until they get it right or get me a new one that is right.

Seriously. Don’t believe me? F*ck, I did it with a damn new truck, fools! A camera ain’t nothin’.

The New Taco Shop

The Bonus Added Features of the NEW New Truck
So yeah, we ended up paying a little more for the new new truck. But it has a slew of new features. The ones that were the deal-breakers as far as the 2008 model being returned were a rear diff lock, VSC, A-TRAC (not to be confused with 8-Track), and a couple of features directly tied to those features, those being DAC & HAC.

Well in my mind, those were the deal-breakers. Turns out though, there were other features that until I played with them, I had no idea they were actually the deal-breakers. One in particular, though. Rear Backup Camera. Oh. My. God. I cussed when I played with it. We went to test drive the truck this time before we signed the paperwork (good idea!), and the first thing we did was pop it in reverse and try out the rear backup camera. I was curious where the hell the monitor was, as the dash radio was not one of those DVD-navigation thingies that I figured would be responsible. Any guesses? I am looking over the dash, trying to figure out where the monitor’s going to be, and I glance up (out of habit) and lo-and-behold, the monitor for the backup camera… is in the rearview mirror. It was too cool for me to restrain myself, and the next thing I know I’m laying down an explicative-laced hoorah that seemed to make everyone giddy with laughter.

But it was cool to me! It was that cool. Still is. It’s so amazing, because I’ve owned a pickup before and I know that it’s hard as hell to judge where your butt actually is. When you’re trying to back up as much as possible (parallel parking, anyone?), it’s awesome in that it gives you the confidence you otherwise couldn’t have without constantly getting out to check first-person.

How cool is it? Here, I took pictures. This first one, shows the rearview before I put it in reverse. Just your average rearview mirror (click for large):

But wait! Put that thing into “R,” and now we’re flying all cool-like and sh!t (click for large):

You’re jealous. And I don’t blame you. :-)



The Sought-After New Features of the NEW New Truck
So about those alphabet-soups above. They have meaning. Shall we? Let’s.

DAC, or Downhill Assist Control, is pretty much just awesome. What it does is to take control of your throttle & braking and do what you can’t do with your pedals. It assists your descent down steep slopes by activating the ABS on each wheel, independently to keep your rig facing the right direction. That direction being face-down, because if you’re sideways on a steep decline, you’re probably about 5 seconds from rolling. It’s a little thing I like to call physics. So. You activate it, you take your foot of the pedals, and just steer. It handles the braking & everything for you, at each wheel, independently. It’s freaking awesome.

HAC, or Hill-Start Assist Control, is a feature by which you don’t have to worry about rolling backwards when you start uphill from a dead-stop. You know how in your car, when you release the brake you start sliding backwards? Yeah, well. Not me. Not anymore. My truck will automagically keep the brake engaged until the gas is actually applied. Think of it as power braking, but without the effort.

A-TRAC, or Active Traction Control, is a system only available in 4x4 Lo mode that uses the braking system similar to the DAC function, but in order to give you power where you need it. See typically, your tires will spin when they hit no resistance, and the drivetrain sort of (quite against intuition) sends the power to those wheels. And the real problem is that the ones that are spinning free are the ones that you want spinning least. Well A-TRAC uses the braking system like DAC, applying the brakes to the wheels that are spinning free, diverting the power instead to the wheels that are still in contact with the ground, propelling you forward instead. It’s also – like DAC – freaking awesome.

Remember back at the beginning of the year? When the 4Runner (without any such assistance or even a rear diff lock –something else the Taco has that I wanted) got stuck in a rut by the side of the road? With one wheel spinning free, in 4WD? Had I had the Tacoma, probably would’ve been able to make it out without the tow.

VSC uses the same principles of A-TRAC & DAC, but during normal driving instead. It’s there to compensate for out-of-control maneuvers, such as during emergency swerves & such. It also uses the brakes and it’s “brain” to calculate what wheels need to be braked in order to point the car in the direction you’re really pointing it. It’s kind of cool after reading about it and how it works, as well as watching a video or two about it. I was on the fence originally, but now I’m sold.



Last Word
So. Yeah. That’s the truck in a nutshell. I look forward to taking it out for a spin in the rough, but that won’t be for a couple of weeks. We have a camper shell on order, and the dogs aren’t allowed in the bed until that’s on properly. I’m not going to have doggy splattered all over some road somewhere. Well, at least mine.

And since we don’t go out anywhere without them, well, the 4Runner will still be gainfully employed for at least that long.

So, about that Tacoma...

So as I had talked about earlier… the whole “buying a Tacoma” thing. Yeah. About that.

It all seemed easy enough, actually. Walked in, kicked some tires, (figuratively), reviewed some prices & options (literally), and made a deal on a New 2008 Model with a certain set of options that we had desired. We’re all set, right?

That was Thursday last week. Saturday, I get “the call” that the truck is in. Yay! It’s late though, and I worked early Sunday as well, so we set up a time for Sunday afternoon to get all the paperwork done. Cool. Well keep in mind that this time is about 4pm, and they close @ 5pm. So everyone’s trying to get through all the paperwork quick and close up shop & go home to their families. Including us. Well they walk us through the paperwork, we see the truck pull up and it’s the right color, it’s the right Off-Road Package, right doors, etc etc. So we’re good to go and we drive home.

The problems started when we got home and got to reading. I was pouring over the manual, trying to figure out all the options and how to do things like turn off the VSC it supposedly had, because I couldn’t quite find the switch. And I see where they show all the lights on the dash for all the various options, and I know for a fact (I know) that when you turn the key to “on” on about every vehicle by any manufacturer, it by default lights up all the lights. And you know what? None of the lights for those features existed on the truck I drove home.

I’m not going to make this post overly long, but suffice to say that the truck was taken back to the dealer the next morning. Some of you are saying yeah but you signed the contract so you’re screwed and you’re actually wrong. We had to haggle and make the point that we had signed up to have a particular option package delivered for a particular price, and quite bluntly, the vehicle they called to say was delivered was not that vehicle they said they would deliver.

The problem was rooted in the fact that the salesman was basing his assumptions on what the vehicle came with based on the “Package” kits. He found a 2008 with the “OC” package, but when we looked to make sure what all came with it, the problem was he showed us a 2009 and told us about the 2009 OC package, and assumed the “OC” was the same between years. However, it is not.

Since there wasn’t a question of that – the sales guy readily admitted the foley – it was just a matter of getting us either a) what we wanted, or b) invalidating the contract and we walk away, never to come back. The thing is though, they wronged us in the process. Whether intentionally or not, they misled their customers into a deal that was not as advertised, and that’s bad press no matter what. I was willing to work with them, but I wanted them to meet me halfway at least. I mean, this was their fault basically, and it had inconvenienced us 3 days and some # of hours at the least, and also possibly leaves a bad taste in the customer’s mouth, right? You don’t want that getting around.

They tried to find us a 2008 with the options we wanted and succeeded, but the problem was that this thing MSRP’d above what a similarly-but-optimally-equipped 2009 retails for. It made more sense to me that they should come down on the 2008 price, close to what we originally intended seeing as how that’s basically what they initially offered. However for whatever reasons, they were going too far into the negative trying to please us on the 2008 model.

And here’s where things get weird. Good, but weird. You see, the manager eventually came out, and basically hit the nail on the head: We wanted a 2009 Tacoma. Yes, we did, we wanted the groupings of features that come on the “OC” package 2009 models, but didn’t want to pay the 2009 Price, we wanted to pay what we thought was fair seeing as how it was a year older now. Again, for whatever reason, they couldn’t. BUT, they COULD work the 2009 model down. And in fact, after going back & forth with the manager on what it meant to take care of the customer and what we wanted-or-we-walked, he went bottom-basement to take care of us.

It still doesn’t make sense, but now we’re going to get a fully-loaded 2009 OC model for just about $850 more than what the 2008 mid-tier 2008 model was that we originally drove off the lot with. I’m not going to get into prices too much, I don’t want to offend anyone’s decencies, nor do I want people to think they can waltz in and get the deal we got, but let’s just say that after the packages are put together and the accessory options we got figured in, the MSRP of the truck we’re going to get is around $33K. The 2008 after rebates and price finagling was a good figure under $30K.

They’ve made right be me, so I’m good with that. New Truck should be here today or tomorrow. Yay!

Scheduling woes & Vehicle Update(s)

Sometimes the scheduling makes no sense
I closed work down last night. This morning I was there bright & early, and opened it back up. Sometimes, in scheduling situations like that, I wonder why I don’t just sleep there. Because it’s not as though I’m doing anything else in-between the hours of midnight & 6am anyways, you know?



Taking Delivery tomorrow
After I got home today, I quick-like took the dogs out to the local delta to get them some exercise. When I get home, I hear the not-quite-familiar beep of the answering machine: someone’s left a message! (?)

It was Tauge (pronounced “Tygue”), our car sales-guy, letting us know our new Tacoma was in. Hot damn! So tomorrow when I get off of work (I open tomorrow again), The Girl & I will be heading down to the dealership to fill out the paperwork and hope that they don’t try any last-minute deal-changing maneuvers. A**holes (I’m being presumptive; sue me).

It’s not quite ready, though. They haven’t installed all the accessories on it yet, and we need to make a date to have that done. Why aren’t all my specified accessories installed yet? Because those’re extra, and I haven’t given them any money yet. If they install a bunch of custom options on it, and then I were to back out? Well it’s not like they can undrill all those holes, now is it? So I don’t begrudge them that; they want to have signatures & money, I’m OK with that.

I’m actually surprised they got this far into it without having me actually sign anything yet, to be honest.

But they’ve kinda caught me off-guard, though. I haven’t even so much as shopped for the shell yet. Well, not including stopping by a couple of websites. But I haven’t seen anything and priced it out yet, so damn… Need to get up to speed on that. Going to have this nice new doggy transporter, and not be able to transport them in it for a little bit, it seems. Oh well. I didn’t expect of them to find the truck and have it delivered so fast. My bad.



4Runner’s not ready yet, either
We have to get the 4Runner cleaned up for sale. This also means buffing out the red paint on the passenger-side door.

Whaaa….??

Oh yeah! Forgot to mention it here, didn’t I? At the beginning of my vacation – first day in fact! – we were all loaded up and headed out to one of the local rivers to play around. I saw a note on the window, and upon opening it was met with this: “OOPS! Sorry. For a Good Time Please Call…” OK OK, I made up the good time part, but the rest is true.

Anyway, it turns out this lady ran into my 4Runner. With her red car. It’s actually not that bad, but it needs to be rubbed out, which sort of presents a problem. Because the lady understandably doesn’t want to get taken to the cleaners for what is really a small-time thing. But I need/want to have my 4Runner be all-WHITE, and match as well, preferably. So right now, I’m trying to get her to be OK with paying to have the exterior-only detailed. Seems fair to me. I mean, it wouldn’t be necessary if it weren’t for the red paint, and anything less (paying for the door only) leaves me with at least two shades of white… and we’re not going to the insurance, either, so I think it’s fair.

Still though, it needs to get done before we list it.

Top News Stories

Unbelievable. Un-F*cking-Believable.
Clay Aiken becomes a dad. So, what... then he’s not gay?

I don’t know. My conviction is strong. I think I still want to call bullsh!t here. C’mon, just look at that picture.



Believable. Totally believable.
John Edwards admits to affair.

This I believe. Good looking guy (relatively – seen your average politician?), the lady doesn’t look too shabby, and he was her boss. In fact, she’s probably one of a few.

I still want to meet Mrs. Clinton’s Mistress, though.

OOOOOHHH!1!111!!!! BURN!

So about that Tacoma...

We went out to the Dealership to take a drive, get a feel, poke around and make sure that it would fit the bill eventually. Mostly wanted to take a seat in the back seats, and compare the feel of the 4-doors to the Access Cabs. 4-Doors for the win, baby, not even a question about it. The rear seating in the Access Cabs could make Stretch Armstrong feel cramped. The actual test drive was good, too. The engine has good pick-up, though it’s not a match for The Girl’s Tundra. No awkward blind spots, no General Dislikes, really. Has a port for my iPod – which is awesome – and push-button 4-Wheel Drive with locking Diffs, which makes it truly awesome in the sand (which we do frequent).

We ran the numbers with the guy, to get a feel for what they would be willing to do with us on the price, more than anything. Also see what promotions we could get into. He ran back & forth for us (a real nice guy, by the way), and we found a setup that almost worked for us, believe it or not. The monthly payments were close, but they wanted more down than we were willing to go with (see comments here for the details). So I thought I’d make quicker work of the day if I told them that we almost liked those numbers, but we needed them to come down on the price so that a down payment closer to our desired level could be achieved without upping the monthly payments, and add in some options that we needed as well (Additional Front Skid Plate, Roof Rack, & Running Boards).

The idea was that they’d say no we can’t do that, then I could “give them my card” and tell them that when/if they get those numbers to work, they’d have a sale, and to call me. At which point they’d sit on it for a week or so, and cave in so that they have the sale before the month’s up (and I’ve potentially gone elsewhere).

I didn’t actually think they’d just do it on the spot. What the hell? Now I’m the new, proud owner of a Silver Toyo Tacoma. Man, F*ck.

Sucks, huh? :-D

Justifying: The Convenience Factor

One other self-justification we’re running through our heads is a matter of convenience cost. I eluded to it a few posts back regarding the new vehicle debate, but let me more precisely give you an idea of what’s running through our collective head:

So we assume that it’ll cost us an extra $300 (high range) per month to have the newer vehicle. What’s that worth to us? Well there’s much convenience of having the Tacoma over the 4Runner. For one – as I mentioned before – since the doggy area is separate from the people area, it’s easy to clean. How much easier? Well vacuuming small hairs out of the fabric is a test of willpower. I sometimes lose. So the question I ask my self is, how much would I be willing to pay someone to take care of that for me? Because w/ the Tacoma, it’d be a monthly hose-off at best. How much is that worth to me by itself?

Another thing is very similar but more centered around the time savings. Currently with the 4Runner, when we take the dogs out, first we have to get everything ready to go. This includes doggy toys, and also cleanup materials for when we’re getting prepped to return home. Because since the cabin is all-in-one, we have to make sure they’re dry (mostly) and clean before they get in. Because 4 dogs shaking – hell, even one dog shaking – is hell on the interior, what with moisture seepage, smell, etc. With the Tacoma however, we could simply leave that stuff at home, and not worry about cleaning them up until we get home, which would be faster and easier.

Because getting 4 dogs to stand around while you towel one of them off? Takes time. I’d say that this simple act requires an additional 20-30 minutes that gets tacked on to the total time for each event, including the time to locate & load all the stuff before we go anywhere. If we had the Tacoma, it would whittle that down to about 5-10 minutes – because the towels would all be at home to stay, and I could actually hose the sand or whatever off the dogs and give them a quick dry-off at home with no fuss. Hell, I could just get home and lock their asses outside if I so chose.

And I think: How much is that worth? How much would I be willing to pay someone to save me that 15-25 minutes each outing? Seriously, too. Because with the amount of outings, that time adds up. Consider that in a typical week, we’ll be out and about at least 3-4 times. That’s an hour a week at the low end, right there. TWO hours at the high end. That’s two movies a month or more. That’s the wiggle room I don’t have sometimes to make it feasible to go before I gotta get ready for work. That’s a hell of a lot less stuff to take with us when we do go out somewhere (four towels takes up a lot of room that could have gone to store things like… well, other things). Would we pay someone $300 a month for that privilege? Would we pay someone $300 a month right now to clean up the 4Runner after every excursion to mimic the easy-breezy cleanup of the Tacoma? To worry about finding & loading the towels? To knit us more time to do whatever else we want?

It’s a tough call: part of me wants to say “hell yeah!” when I’m thinking of the time savings each trip, and the possibility of being able to go out more often. Part of me says “$300 is not worth two extra movie viewings a week, dude.” (I say ‘dude’ to myself sometimes when I’m feeling lonely)

What do you think? Keep in mind, we won’t be struggling to make the payments either way; but it would still be an extra $300 a month for a couple of years. What’s your thought process?

Test Drive Tomorrow

Test Drive Tomorrow
I have convinced The Little Woman that we should go and test drive the new Tacomas tomorrow. Not that we plan on coming home with one then, or even soon, but we do want to know what to expect and whether it will even fit the bill (like we think it will).

I should actually be more specific, though: I didn’t actually talk her into it. She was scheduled to work, and I planned on going out to the dealership whilst she was making me a down payment. However she saw my schedule get a new appointment, and managed to get her shift covered so she could go with me :-)

We’re making it make sense, though. Getting the Tacoma, that is. See the way we figure it is, the 4Runner is currently 11 years old. The difference in monthly expense for the New Tacoma will be around $250-300 a month. But what happens if we don’t buy it? What happens when the 4Runner suddenly needs $1500 in service & repair? Well that’s $1500 that has to be spent to get it up to running, that also makes it worth less, and also means we’ve kept it longer which also makes it worth less as well, compounding the issue. And then? Well we have to keep it, and hope nothing else goes bad, as well. Because at that point, it wouldn’t make sense to keep it.

Here’s what I mean. Sell it now, get $5k out of it. Keep it 3 more years, we incur the further loss of value in the 4Runner (say about $2500), and the potential repair costs that WOULD be lost funds (we’ll estimate a repair schedule of $1500 in that time). So in three years, we lose about $4K in value in the 4Runner. That’s cost that cannot, no matter what, be recouped.

However, if we sell it now and get that $5K out of it, yeah we’re paying more per month over that time, but honestly? When the 4Runner goes, it’s being replaced by one anyways, which means that over that 3 years we’re paying $300 more a month, it’s not wasted – it’s going to the same bottom line as it would anyways, it’s just that we move it forward and apply that $4K value in the 4Runner towards the purchase price. Fiscally, it makes sense. Really. It does.

So maybe White? Maybe we come home with a silver one tomorrow? Eh? Eh?

Oh I’m just kidding. It’ll be at least a week before the one I eventually order comes in ;-)

Déjà Vu: The Movie, & Déjà Vu The Movie, & ...

Last night was a night we finally decided to put In Déjà Vu for a go-around. Weird though, it felt like we had watched it before…

OK OK, no more corny-ass jokes, I promise.

The movie is not all that bad. It’s chock full of logical inconsistencies and silly plot maneuvers, but in the end I think that it’s completely watchable, and even a bit enjoyable. Denzel Washington stars an an ATF agent that is trying to help track down a terrorist that blew up a boat full of sailors in New Orleans. In trying to solve the case, he is presented with another case about a girl who appears to have been a victim of the boat, but she’s not really. To Denzel, solving her case means solving the terrorist case, as in his mind, the criminal is the same guy (He reasons that he killed her and stole her truck to drive explosives onto the ship).

Now the FBI shows him a cool new tool that lets him look back into the past 4.25 days. So of course, he peeping toms all over this girl in the shower & sh!t (I’m totally not even kidding: Boobies, people, we see boobies), and then drives around on the wrong side of the road chasing a 4-day old vision of a bandit, and later teleports himself into the past to stop her murder & the boat blowing up.

This is where the logical inconsistencies show up. We’re treated to a whole bunch of scenes that play out to create things that were a part of the actual past that happened. However, despite this idea that you can’t change the past because whatever you do you’ve already done and it’s the reason things are now as they are, it departs from that line of reasoning and instead changes course at the last minute, completely irradicating all the meaning of everything you’ve already seen. For the happy ending. Because, you know, a beautiful woman shows us her boobies, clearly she has to live. So that Denzel can handcuff her later – to his bed.

OH YEAH!

We, uh, don’t get to see that part, though. It’s just sort of assumed.

It’s decent but not air-tight. And it could have been better without the happy ending, actually. But it’s still watchable. I give it a C+. And hey, if you want to read all about the general state of gaffes in a fun and intriguing way, I suggest heading over to my favoritest movie spoof site ever for a quick read.

Peace.