Oh baby pinch my nipples after you run that report

The Odd Thing About Sex Talk @ Work
We all want to talk about it, it seems. Funny, because we’re not supposed to talk about it. There’s rules & regulations that specifically state that you will be fired for talking about it. Which then, of course, makes everyone want to talk about it more.

I’ve never met one person – not one – that didn’t want to talk about sex with me at work. Er, that didn’t come out right. That didn’t want to talk with me about sex, while we were at work. Whew! You don’t want to know what would happen to me if I hadn’t fixed that before The Girl read it. Catastrophe.

Anyway. It just strikes me as odd that we have all these rules to prohibit this “thing” that we all do anyway. Doesn’t seem logical. I mean, I understand that there’s a line, we’re trying to avoid sexual harassment, but still. What if someone hates feet? They find them putrid? Should we write a law to prevent talk about foot stuff at work, too? Why can’t I legally talk about my collection of whips & chains? You know, I have this ring that... oh, never mind.



The Scary Thing About Sex Talk @ Work
Oh my god. A lot of the people that want to talk to me about sex at work? Ugly. Hey I may not be a 10, but at least I’m on the right side of that scale, bub. I mean, these are not the kind of people you find videos of having sex online. Know why? That’s right, because they’re ugly, like I freakin’ said already. So? Oh my god. These people are having sex? Oh god oh god, I hope not! And it’s not like I truly think that they should be denied the ability to have sex, it’s just a selfish thing on my part where I don’t want to imagine that an ugly person or (gasp!) two ugly people are having sex. It’s completely selfish on my part, I just don’t want to be all grossed out over it. And hell, you know what? Who am I kidding? I don’t want ugly people having sex! Because they’re just going to produce more ugly people, right? Right?

Of course, perhaps they’re just talking about it because they’re not getting it. Let’s hope. For the sake of my mind’s eye, and the future of television.

Ewwww.