Printers & Their software

We just bought a new printer. Our old one finally gave up the ghost and stopped feeding paper about 5 months ago. I know we’re late to the “get a new printer” party here, but with The Girl having quit school this last semester so we could have time to deal with the house thing (that didn’t materialize until just now, wouldn’t you know), it’s not like we had a big need to print much of anything. Anyway. On to the hate.

We bought a printer. An HP. For some unknown reason, HP (and every other printer manufacturer) seems to think that I want their device to take over my entire computer. I have to install the driver, but it goes ahead and installs all these other programs that take over my dock, that hide in different parts of the computer system, and generally suck and try to do everything that I bought a f*cking computer and the right software to do already.

F*cking f*ck. Look you dumbasses, I bought a printer. I want it to print, maybe fax & scan and such. That is all. Everything associated with your damn peripheral should be accessible from the utility in the Printer system preferences pane. EVERYTHING. ALL options. I bought a PERIPHERAL to my computer. YOUR item is periphery. Do you f*cking understand? I DID NOT BUY A/AN “HP PHOTOSMART SCANPRO HP WORKSTATION PRINTER CENTER UTILITY HP COMPUTER PRINTER MACHINE,” I bought a mother-f*cking Apple Computer and then accessorized it with a printer. That’s. it.

HOLY F*CK it’s annoying as hell to have to UNINSTALL ALL OF YOUR F*CKING UGLLY-ASS, CRAPPY-ASS SH!T-FOR-PROGRAMS FROM MY COMPUTER, so that I can simply use it to print & scan and NOTHING ELSE.

Phew. OK, now that the hatred is off of my chest... Let’s continue to the good stuff.