Random Postage-Due Occurrences

Yesterday was an odd occurrence: we received a chain letter at work.

And I don’t mean I opened my email, and there was this forwarded email about making a wish and then forwarding the email to 10 people or else I’d be hit with 3 years of bad luck, just like these other people who got hit by a car THE VERY NEXT DAY AND DIED or got syphilis and typhoid and genital warts. I mean that the mail carrier came up to me, and said “this is yours.”

Not quite. He came up to me and said that we had a letter that had been sent to us postage due. $1.68. Not only that, but there was no return address. So, no return address, no postage, and I’m on the verge of saying “I don’t want it.” I mean, what if it’s anthrax? What if it’s pornographic material? A Bomb? But it’s not my company, hell it’s not even my store, so I figure that just to be safe, I’ll run it by the Store Manager, see what he wants to do with it.

Good thing I did, let me tell you, and not just because the Store Manager said “pay for it.” That has to be the first step, but what followed was pure hilarity. OK yeah it was a chain letter, but it was more than that. It’s hard to explain, but let’s try by example. It was 30 pages or so, and it ranged from a personal ad for a cross-dressing homosexual, to the expanation of Jehovah’s Witnesses as an evil cult, to lawsuit information for god-knows-what. The first page was a flyer to try out to be the boyfriend of this person as well as the lead singer in the band they were hoping to form (I can only guess it was the person in the personals ad you’re auditioning for). No kidding; auditions to be the boyfriend AND Lead Singer of this yet-to-be-created band. And you couldn’t just sing any songs you chose, you had to sing a particular set of songs outlined in this boyfriend/lead singer audition list, and do it right goddammit.

Wow. Talk about strict requirements, eh? Good LUCK finding someone to fill that role, ma’am or sir (whatever you are/prefer).

So. Glad. We. Accepted. That. Letter. $1.68 does not even begin to come close to the worth of this chain letter. How often… When was the last ti-… it’s not every day you get that kind of laugh in the mail.

So worth it.