Movie: The Other Boleyn Girl

Well it seemed like one of those important-type period films, so we took a chance on The Other Boleyn Girl last night. And By “took a chance” what I mean to say is “suffered endlessly until it was over.” It’s not that it was a bad movie, it’s just that it really didn’t have much about it that was good, either.

The acting was OK, I mean it definitely played like all the pieces knew what they were doing, but it still felt a little wooden. But that wasn’t the worst part for me. No, that revolved around the fact that the girls who were the centerpiece of the show seemed to not have much motivation for their actions or were just wishy-washy about who or what they were. Huh? Well Scarlett’s character is portrayed as this down-to-earth, country girl that cherishes the simple life, and her forced romance with the King is just so not her.


Until, that is, he “knights” her with “Excalibur” (I made those lines up for effect, btw). Then suddenly she loves him, and she wants to stay around all that she despises. Until, that is, she gets sent away back to the country. Until, that is, she comes back. And lastly, until, that is, she runs off again to live in the country happily ever after with some character who was so unimportant as to possibly not have a name at all.

Yeah sure, that’s character development, right? Sure, sure it is… We all just love it when characters just sort of further the story to a prefabbed ending, despite what they’re supposed to be and stand for. Yeah, sure it’s character development…

Hey, I’ve sat through worse films than this, so it’s not like it’s insufferable, it’s just that I could easily have seen me enjoying many other things (anagram time: owbbojl) for those two hours of my life.

But as a side note: MAN! How cool would it have been to be the King in those days, you know? You want some new ass but you’re married? OK then! Just bring the new bimbo into your castle and in fact make her your Queen’s new assistant. Hey everyone knows, but it’s OK because you’re the King! And hell, maybe change some laws, write in a bimbo clause or something… and you’re set!

Crap that guy had it made. Until, uh, he totally destroyed his country & all. And the whole “being an general asshole” thing. But hey, the women, yeah, he had that made at least, right?

Anyway, the movie’s not all that great. You can make it through, but you’ll want an anagram more i promise. I give it a C-/D+.

Peace.