Movie: There Will Be Blood

We had a chance to watch this highly-acclaimed film last night. I say “highly-acclaimed” with a little bit of a sarcastic tone in my type because I must say that after 2 hours and forty minutes of my life devoted to watching it, I cannot for the life of me figure out precisely why the film is so well-regarded.

For me it falls into the same category as No Country For Old Men, in that it’s got great parts to it, but they just don’t fit together well. Mostly, in the same vein as NCFOM, it has a story that seems to just go nowhere really. I mean, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again I guess, but when I watch a story, I expect there to be a beginning, a middle, and an end, which is usually the resolution. If there’s no resolution, it should still be an actual end, one that you could say “OK that makes sense,” or even “OK well that makes you think.” But instead, it left us thinking, “OK that makes you think they had no idea how to write a story.”

The acting was great. The cinematography was great. The score was pretty good. The editing was nice. The story… sucked. The whole of the film… sucked.

It’s another one of those movies that gains hype momentum™(link) I think, same as NCFOM or Pan’s Labyrinth, wherein some hoity-toity know-it-alls proclaim it’s the best thing since sliced bread, and since other people want to pretend like they know what they’re talking about too, they agree with this assessment of said film! It starts this giant movement of positive press that few are willing to go against for fear of being the outcast, and as such everyone pretends to really “get” the film and think it’s wildly entertaining when actually it’s a pointless bore with gaffes too big to ignore.

I blame this phenomenon for some popular music too, such as (but not limited to) the Beastie Boys, and Linkin Park. C’mon, let’s be honest: both those bands aren’t really good at all, but some popular kid at high school with horrible taste liked that one song about something that sounded like slang for a penis and so everyone said it was cool and thus they sold records that really should have been coasters instead (that’s what I do with lame CD’s by the way).

Anyway, back to the film. Here’s what I want: I want someone who thinks they know what they’re talking about to sit down with me, and actually tell me – in detail – what makes There Will Be Blood & NCFOM worth watching. I want someone to try and explain what the hell the point of these films was. Hey, maybe I’m missing something, maybe there’s some finer detail I’m not grasping, but I’m pretty sure that no, it’s just that the films actually suck.

I imagine such a discussion would contain a lot of stuttering on their part before I just interrupted them and told them to shut the hell up, no one cares, and yes the movie is actually crap, apparently. I’ve been known, is what I’m sayin’.

I’d give it a hands-down F if it weren’t for some of the better performances. I’ll be kind and give it a D. REAL kind.

Peace.