Smelly Dog, & Skirt Adventures

Zoey: The Smelly One

This is in addition to “The Stupid One” moniker, not a replacement. Hell, The Smelly One stems from the behavior dictated by The Stupid One, so it’s more like a sub-moniker, if there is such a thing. Can you stand the tale?

I had today and also tomorrow off. I didn’t have a workout going today and The Girl is @ work, so I decided to take the dogs to the local Delta (as seen here). I should know better than to let Zoey out of my sight, but I was deep in frustrated thought and lost track of her as we were heading home. I call the dogs over to be toweled off, and Zoey reeks. I don’t mean she had a wet dog smell either, no typically that’s fine as I bring towels to dry them off anyway, but this was just terrible.

It smelled like she’d rolled in death. No, it smelled like a cow had eaten a giraffe. But it didn’t fully digest it, and then shat it all out, and turned around and threw up in its own half-digested giraffe dung. Then this dung sat and sweltered in high-heat, high-humidity conditions for about a week. And then, Zoey came upon it, and rolled in it so deeply that the whole of this putrid smell was bound to every fiber of her being.

Yeah that about describes the smell of it, I think.

Anyway, I had to bathe her. I didn’t want to and in fact was going to try and avoid it even after I got whiff of her. We both (me and The Girl) have tomorrow off together, so we’re planning a “take the dogs out somewhere fun for the all of us” sort of day, and this will probably involve water again in some fashion, be that river, beach, etc. So I didn’t want to waste my time bathing her just so she could get “wet dog-ified” tomorrow.

But when I got home from taking my baby her pants (explanation to follow), the whole room she was in stunk like she did, and I sure as hell did not want her infecting the room with this stench. So I caved and bathed.

And now I smell like wet dog.



The Girl is Wearing the Pants
So when I got home from the Delta with The Smart One and The Smelly One, I heard our answering machine beeping at me. I played it and there were two new messages. The first one was some lady telling me that she loved me, wondered where I was and said to call her back. I do not know who this was. And I don’t think The Girl would let me call back anyway.

The second message was a more familiar voice, telling me that her skirt she wore to work had ripped in the back, and if I could please bring her a pair of pants for the remainder of the night. I obliged. But not because I’m a nice guy.

I was hungry. I had anticipated boiling water when I got home to make some pasta. But seeing as how now I was going to be at a restaurant anyway… well I might as well get some free food, no? And so it was.

Now all that’s left for me tonight is to take a shower myself. Gotta get rid of this damn wet-dog smell. Yeck.

Peace.