Fish Tales, & it's quite the life

That’s my story & I’m sticking to it
So I’m sort of thinking now that the shark that “washed up” on the beach in front of me was actually a Great White. Yeah, that kind of Great White. The one they make scary stories out of. The kind that grow to 20-ft long & 5,000lbs. So here’s the deal, you’re getting in on the ground floor on this, OK?

From now on, I caught the shark. When we mention it, random bob did not “find” a baby shark on the beach. He caught a Great White. No mention will be made of the size, other than to tell people that Great Whites are around 15-20 ft long & close to 5,000lbs. Random bob caught a Great White, I can’t stress this enough.

That’s my story from here on out, and I’m sticking to it.

OK stop hiding
You know who you are. You could totally be online right now chatting with me. But you’re not. Because you’re pretending to have more important things to do on a Thursday night, like go out. Sort of implying that I don’t have a life or something, like you.

Whatever. Liar. F*cking sign on and talk to me, dammit, so I can show you how much of a life I have!