The REAL Dark Knight, & iTunes Logic

It’s Finally here: The Abridged Script for The Dark Knight.
Read all about it. READ IT GODAMMIT! Yeah I liked the movie, yeah it’s pretty good, but c’mon, it’s got tons of folly to it. It’s riddled with plot holes & plot devices (that sounds sort of sexual, doesn’t it?) that are there because without them, the movie would just have to end at about the 45-minute mark, because it’s otherwise impossible to make the jump to the rest of the implausible story.

A friend and I yesterday were discussing our least-favorite things about it. He called shenanigans on the whole “Maggie falls from a building onto the top of a car and LIVES.” I still think that the Joker being OMNIPOTENT and knowing things no one could know in order to make a ridiculous set of plans work is the most shenanigan of all, however.

Favorite line from the Abridged Script?

HEATH LEDGER [to Maggie Gyllenhal @ party]
I can wait. Want to hear a story? Once upon a time, I had a wife. She was beautiful, like you. Er, no, I mean in complete contrast to you. You’re actually kind of a butterface. But at least you’re not Katie Holmes, I like that.
BAT-BALE
Then you’re gonna love me!

It’s so great because it digs so hard @ Katie Homely, then ties right back into the actual movie lines. It’s just brilliant.



Artists Avoiding iTunes because: Singles are cannibalizing Album Sales
Well duh. Look, I think it’s a sad statement to make that you’re keeping your music off iTunes (Kid Rock) because people don’t want to buy your entire album. You know what that essentially means? Your music is largely crap. You want me to buy an album instead of the two good songs on that album? How about this: don’t put two GOOD songs on an album and then fill it with absolute crap-as-filler. Try that. See if that works. Maybe album sales will go up if albums, you know, don’t suck.

If you’re of the mindset that I should own your entire CD to “understand” your music, then there’s something about your audience I think you should “understand”: We don’t care about your semi-rich people problems. We like one or two songs, we really only want those one or two songs. I don’t feel like paying you for sh!t I don’t like.

I know it’s weird, but how’s this for a trade: I’ll buy your crappy songs I don’t want, if you buy my crappy macaroni art that I glued onto some pieces of white paper that nobody wants. Deal?

F*cking Putzes.