Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Bush & McCain: We're Different, Really!

Bush to America: Just hand over your wallet, and no one gets hurt
Bush warns of long recession without rescue plan. Let me Translate: “We’ve already taken your children and sent them off to war, made a mockery of ‘morals’ & ‘Family Values,’ and taken all of your liberties & rights and flushed them down the toilet; So, what’s the big deal? Just give us all your money too, alright?”

More & More, I’m not liking this whole “bailout” thing at all. I think that we should just let them fail. F*ck them. They tried to f*ck us, and got rich off of it. They wanted deregulated markets, they got them. Now that it’s not so cozy, they want handouts? They want the people they f*cked to give MORE to them? F*ck that.

That’s a lot of f*cks, isn’t it? You’re damn right it is, and they’re each well-deserved, too. It’s like this: Each time a Republican thinks of a way to f*ck Americans further, I grow another “f*ck.” Sorta like each time a child laughs an angel gets its wings or something. Except it’s Republicans & profanity.

McCain to America: WTF am I going to say?!?!
McCain is saying that the debates should be postponed. So that, uh, he can vote on the bailout legislation (see above). Know what? It’s time for a translation: “I, uh, haven’t really been able to come up with anything smart to say in like, uh, a year or so. I need an extension; there’s no way I can finish my homework on time! Uh, my dog ate my paper! Grandma died!”

Don’t want to talk about that sound economy there, Senator? Yeah I don’t blame you. If I knew that I was about to be grilled about the economy stinking after a week ago I said all was fundamentally sound, I’d probably try to bury my head in the sand, too.

Oh wait, I feel it coming: “f*ck.” (see above)

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