Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Rosie O'Donnell: Please stop ruining Democracy

Rosie: Shut up please! You’re RUINING US!

This morning on some morning “news” show (I don’t know or care to find out which), Rosie O’Donnell was a guest. This was a big deal, because you may not recall but she was on another morning-esque show called The View (11 years now, no way!), where she had a falling-out with the only good-looking chick on the show over the whole Iraq Debacle we now find ourselves in.

Anyway, some thoughts on the matter:

Look, I agree with you. The war is a farce. And in fact I think your views are much less cynical than my own are. The pretty bitch was wrong, she’s dumb and she doesn’t think passed her own perky, plump boobs. But c’mon! You gotta tone down the oinking, OK? People see your ugly mug, badgering away with that obnoxious attitude of yours, and they then try to label all liberals as “Rosie clones” or something.

Look: I even agree that you have to fight hard against the right-wingers. They throw sticks and stones and you need to throw sticks and stones back. But you’re dropping bombs, and more importantly, you’re just annoying. Shut up. Do all of us left-leaners a favor, and have someone else make your points for you. Write them down. Give them to me if you must. Dammit!

And I also agree that rather than arguing over silly, minute differences, Barack & Hilary need to realize that they’re both running for the highest office in the world. A black man & a woman, this would have been less than a pipe-dream 30 years ago. It would have been considered suicide – in the literal sense – a mere 60 years ago. Yes, they need to get over themselves, and get to at least being polite and sincere with each other.

But again, coming from you, it means so much less. You’re destroying the very foundations you hold dear every time you talk. Stop talking, OK, before you unravel democracy!

You say things that are just so out of the realm of reality. Yeah sure, you don’t watch any TV or have any internet access at home. How the hell do you know what’s being said about you then? Guess what? You’re not front-page news on the New York Times, dear. And uh, the rest of america cannot fathom how it is that someone who is so often plastered all over the damn devices cannot have access to them. Hey guess what, it would be hard for you to blog (video blogging to boot!) if you aren’t using a computer, OK? Give us a break, even the dumbass right-wing nutjobs can figure out that if you have a blog (with video!) that you probably, must maybe, might be using a computer. And the internet.

So you’re a liar. And a hypocrite. And so much more. Like extremely annoying. Even to those who agree with your premises. And to be quite honest, you’re just not that special. I don’t care. I don’t think a lot of people do. And those who “worship” you? Yeah, the rest of us “normies’ feel about the same towards them as we do towards you. Are you getting it? Picking up what I’m throwing down, as they say? White on rice? You good to go? We connecting yet?

And more on the important point (and peoples)
Barack… Hilary… Seriously you two, get over whatever it is. And get real, too. I feel like you two are giving the public lines they want to hear (rescue! Pull out! Yay!), when in reality we can’t achieve the overall goals we need to and actually do what you say.

Like, uh, pull out of Iraq? Have you thought through that quagmire? Seriously? Yes, that's what we should do, tear apart a country with war...
and then leave. Yeah I'm sure that wouldn't stain our image in the world any, huh? Oh, and saving the housing market? Are you for real? How the hell are your constituents going to afford homes if you don’t let the prices settle down to normal levels? You can’t bail out the mortgage industry and lower prices at the same time, sorry. Gonna have to let that crumble, my dears, if you really have the people's interests in mind here.

Dammit you two, I don’t want to have to run myself. I can’t. I have a few more years before I’m eligible. Get it right.Or
email me. I’m available for consulting.

I’ll be checking my inbox. Hourly.


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