Thursday, July 24, 2008

First Day of Vacation, & The Golden Compass

Picture 2
Swimming & Footwear
Swimming in running shoes can really be no fun. I have what would to the layman appear to be hellacious love marks down my back. I assure you, they are not. Mostly.

Today was the first day of my vacation. We took the dogs (all four of them) out to the river. I wanted to help Hunter (the Chocolate Lab) get over his apprehension to jumping into the water to get stuff. I don’t get it, but for some reason the Black Labs seem more “in” to the water than the other labs of another color (even from the same mother). Hunter will go and swim, but he doesn’t just hop right in and go, and if there’s other dogs going after the same thing, he’s content to let them (the two Black Labs) jump right in and go. But if the other dogs go one way, and he has no competition going another way and can take his time, he’ll crawl in and go.

So I figured I’d go wading through across the river, and then of course he’d follow me. The hope is that if he sees me going with no hesitation, that he’ll forget his own hesitations. And while the idea is solid, again I refer to to the first sentence: Swimming in running shoes can really be no fun.

The dogs, they are fast. Faster than I gave them credit for. And when I go, well, they
catch up to me. And the paws… oh, the paws. They scratch me. Badly.

Swimming in running shoes is no fun when you have dogs tailing your ass.

The Golden Compass
So we watched The Golden Compass tonight. The reviews are sort of all over the map. I tend towards the lower end of that scale. The whole movie seems to jump around here then there, then here, then there, and throughout it all, you’re going “wha…?” and you feel like you should care or something or at least know more than you do. But you don’t. And it’s not your fault, you’re not missing anything. The movie just sucks.

Look: Give a girl a compass, she gets lost. Give her a Polar Bear, and she gets eaten. Give her Sam Elliot, and… well, she gets a Western Side Kick, because that’s all Sam Elliot ever is. Give her Nicole Kidman, and she also gets a monkey? OK whatever, right? Exactly. Look, All I’m saying is that maybe they should have given her a script for a better movie. What’s the worst that could have happened?

Right. Whatever. Just don’t bother watching it. Your eyes will thank you.

Trust me. Trust. Me.

Edit: If you haven’t seen this movie yet, but you’d like to know what’s up without having to actually suffer through it, I present to you The Abridged Script Version. It’s fun, take a read.

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